2025.02.11ブログ
子育ては手がかかって当たり前、むしろ手がまったくかからないことは心配、神奈川県厚木市の児童精神科医が解説
子育ては手がかかって当たり前、むしろ手がまったくかからないことは心配、神奈川県厚木市の児童精神科医が解説
こんにちは、神奈川県厚木市、児童精神科専門クリニック、きもとメンタルクリニックです。
今回は、子育ては手がかかって当たり前、むしろ手がまったくかからないことは心配、について解説します。
子育てには基本的には手がかかります。
それは通常発達の場合、人見知り、後追い、一次反抗期、分離不安、などなど、一人にしておくことができないイベントが立て続けにおこるからです。
手がかかりすぎると母親は大変ですが、まったく手がかからなかった、というのはちょっと気になります。
つまり一人にしておいても平気だったということが多いので、その場合、愛着の形成がなんらの理由でうまくいっていない、ことを意味します。
与える側に問題があることもありますが、多くは子ども側の愛情のレセプターの問題になります。
自閉症スペクトラム障害の場合、対人相互性の障害があるため、母親との愛着形成がうまくいかないことがあります。
そうすると、人見知り、後追い、分離不安などが認められず、母親以外の人でも、母親でも、本人の態度はあまり変わらないということがおこります。
他人に預けやすいですが、母親との愛着形成の問題は、成長するにつれ、他者との２者関係の問題へと発展していきます。
他者の心の理解の苦手さ、が学童期での集団生活での困難さを認めるかもしれません。
このように幼児期に手がかかりすぎなかったことは、もしかしたらASDの可能性を考えなくてはいけないかもしれません。
上記のようなことがあれば、早めに児童精神科へご相談ください。
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Today, I’d like to discuss why parenting naturally requires effort, and why a child who seems too easy to raise may actually be a cause for concern.
1. Parenting Always Requires Effort
Raising a child naturally involves challenges because children go through various developmental stages that demand parental involvement. Some common developmental phases include:
Stranger anxiety (fear of unfamiliar people)
Separation anxiety (distress when separated from parents)
Clinginess and following parents around
The first phase of defiance (around age 2-3, known as the “terrible twos”)
These are all normal parts of childhood development and indicate that a child is forming a secure attachment with their primary caregivers.
If a child never experiences these stages and is always independent without showing any attachment or distress, it could be a sign that their emotional development is not progressing as expected.
2. When a Child is Too Independent – Possible Concerns
A child who never cries for their parents, does not show anxiety when left alone, or can be cared for by anyone without preference may have difficulties forming emotional attachments.
This can sometimes indicate issues with attachment formation or underlying neurodevelopmental conditions.
(1) Attachment Formation Issues
Secure attachment is essential for emotional and social development. If a child does not show signs of forming strong emotional bonds with caregivers, it may indicate a problem in the way they perceive and respond to social connections.
(2) Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Social Reciprocity Difficulties
Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) often struggle with social reciprocity, meaning they may have difficulty understanding and responding to emotional interactions.
Possible signs include:
✔ Lack of stranger anxiety or separation anxiety – The child does not react differently to their mother or strangers.
✔ Minimal preference for parental comfort – They do not seek their caregiver when distressed.
✔ Limited social engagement – They may seem content being alone and do not naturally initiate social interactions.
While these signs do not necessarily confirm an ASD diagnosis, they indicate that further evaluation by a child psychiatrist may be beneficial.
3. The Long-Term Impact of Early Social Development Issues
If a child does not form strong early attachments, it can lead to difficulties in understanding others’ emotions and intentions as they grow.
During school-age years, they may struggle with:
✔ Difficulty forming peer relationships
✔ Challenges in cooperative play or teamwork
✔ Lack of understanding of social rules and expectations
These social challenges can affect their ability to adapt in group settings, making school life and friendships more difficult.
4. What to Do If You Have Concerns
If your child did not go through the typical stages of attachment and independence development, it may be helpful to consult a child psychiatrist to evaluate their social and emotional development.
Early intervention, including parental guidance, social skills training, and early therapeutic support, can significantly help children develop the skills they need to navigate relationships and social situations successfully.
If you have any concerns, please do not hesitate to reach out to a specialist.
